Focus

Sometimes everything you plan goes out the window.  Chickens took over my life recently.  And it turned out to be a waste of time and only made me look like a ninny.  I wish important things would take over my life and I could get more done than I knew I had the capacity to do.  I wouldn’t feel like a ninny — I would feel all superior and self-congratulatory about managing the mundane details of my life.  Like the laundry – which has completely backed up because of the chickens.  Or my finances – which are no fun anyway and I need no extra reason to neglect but really should get my attention.  Or cleaning the house – well, let’s just start with getting the dishes out of the sink and into the dishwasher (which by the way, does ALL the work, so I have no excuse!).   Or, how about if I just focus on getting the kids to their games, practices and activities on time with food in their stomachs?

If I were a domestic rock star, I imagine that my kids would never cause any trouble, my dog would behave even better than my children, my friends would marvel at my organizational skills, and I would invite people into my home with a grand sweep of my hand and a peaceful smile.  Yes, I live in the suburbs and there is a high value placed on “having it all.”  It is hard not to catch the fever.  Do I sometimes fantasize about everything being perfect in my home and my life?  Okay, maybe a little.  But then I remember that there is always a cost and “perfect” is really  an elusive, subjective goal.

Things are not always as they seem…what do you think this is?

This recent whirlwind of activity not related to productive chores, makes me wonder if I am over-working on some things.  An “aha moment” I had in college about giving the teachers what they wanted, rather than studying absolutely everything might be applied here.  Maybe I don’t have to do absolutely everything I think I have to do.  As we have seen with the chicken crisis, I do manage to fit in the things that really matter to me – so maybe I need to think about what really matters and stop feeling bad about not doing things I don’t care about anyway.  I can automate, farm out, or routinize the things I have to do, but that don’t really make me happy enough to fit in during a crisis.  My assumptions about what I must do are the only thing stopping me from consciously choosing what I do with my time and achieving my own, personal version of “having it all.”.

One Comment

  1. Erica Reply

    OMG! Are you in my head????? We SOOOOO need to co-parent! We would balance each other out so well.

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