Allowing Space


The end of year is always a period of transition for me. I like to envision what I want the next year to look like. This can sometimes be crippling because I find that dreaming makes me want to have a plan. I need to have a plan. Desperately. And it is really easy to forget that it is okay to step back while you figure out what is next.

Last year in November, I took a big leap and started this blog. I thought I was going to teach everyone how to do stuff, but it turns out that I don’t really enjoy writing the “how-to” posts. Instead, writing the blog has taught me things that I didn’t expect to learn.

That sharing my real self is exhilarating, as well as scary, but worth it for the connection it creates. I love feeling connected to all of my friends who are readers and readers who have become friends. I want more.

That I have a really, really hard time with letting the ideal of perfection go.

That the beau is a keeper. The very things that bug me about him, seem to turn out to be things that I need in my life. (I can just hear him saying, “I told you so.”)

That writing is something I don’t want to stop doing. I sometimes hate it, but, as they say, the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. I definitely do not feel indifference toward writing. Once I get going, I can’t stop. I need to do it. It can completely consume me if I do not force myself to accept a plenty-perfectly written post and close the laptop.

Hard as it is to think of breaking our connection, I need to take a plenty perfect approach to my blog and let it lay low while I attend to other things that require my energy and attention. I need to leave some space for the next thing to come into being. I have decided to take a hiatus from writing on regular basis to retool, regroup, and refocus.

I will be getting more sleep, settling some legal things with my ex-husband, thinking about how my blog and business can work together (or not), and taking some time to just hang out with my kids and be more available, because this has been a really busy year. I look forward to reconnecting with you in 2013.

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  1. José Avilés says:

    Just found out your blog and have spent around two hours reading many posts, you have truly given me insight on life and put many things to perspective! Even though I am just starting my undergraduate studies I feel like you have taught me years of knowledge!

    Thank you, hugs.

    1. annie kip says:

      You are so kind. We can all learn from each other if we are willing to be authentic. I am just so happy to have a place to share my experiences and hear that other people can relate. Thanks so much for your feedback.

  2. Karen says:

    ALLOWING SPACE post on 20 December is wonderful.

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks, Karen! I am glad you can relate – and hope you keep checking in here. It is nice to have you!

  3. jessica says:


    “Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn’t have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in 2007. She now has a blog.”

    1. annie kip says:

      I know! Who knew you could write a blog with no talent at all!!!!??? Hahaha!

  4. JK says:

    I love what I just read. You are an inspiration to me and many other women. Thank you for taking a chance and for making that leap of faith. Trust is a powerful thing!

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks for saying that. I have been thinking about whether I want to keep going with the blog and what I want the next chapter of it to look like, so this really helps me.

  5. Laurel Barattieri says:

    Although I don’t know you I love the name of your blog, plenty perfect, and you seem like someone that would be a good friend to sit down over a glass(or bottle) of wine with! I am divorced over 10 years from a terrible, abusive man with whom I had a beautiful daughter. He used to tell me I had better be perfect “or else”. Then I was blessed to marry the man of my dreams and had another beautiful daughter and was widowed in 2006. Now I am living a completely un-perfect fabulous life. Perfect is SO boring! I am reinventing myself and finishing up training to own my own business and be a personal trainer. This is a huge time of transition for me as well. Good luck and I will continue to check your blog. I hate writing too but it is good to push your boundaries and get comfortable knowing you will never be perfect and showing the world just that! So happy to have run into you on the internet. Laurel

    1. annie kip says:

      Laurel, thanks so much!!! I do think we would have a lot in common and a great time chatting! Your story is so inspiring and I think many people will like hearing what you said. There is always another chapter and you sound like you have made the most of each of yours. I am so hapy for you that you will be running your own business. I know everyone is not cut out for entrpreneurship, but I think if you can swing it, haivng your own business is a great way for women to “have it all.” Transition can be its own chapter if we don’t stress out about it. Your “un-perfect fabulous life” is what you are making of it!!!! I am so happy for you.

  6. Annie, as always, well said. It’s so hard to know if I’ve found the right balance of saying too much or too little but your writing always seems just right – or plenty perfect! You’ve always had clear goals of what you want to accomplish in your career and I look forward to seeing where they take you next.
    Yes, I hear ya’ on those DIY posts! So many pictures and so many directions.
    Keep us posted, Annie! Happy New Year.

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks, Sara! I know you can relate and it is such a help and inspiration to have your friendship in my life. Happy new year to you too!!!

  7. Jean says:

    I, too , will miss your “thinking out loud” on subjects that cause me to think.
    Remember, all you need to be is “Plenty perfect”
    Still keep in in your loop
    Much love,

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks, Jean! I am looking forward to getting back to it as soon as I can. You will always be in my loop!!!

  8. Ingrid Goldbloom says:

    You go girl! Take what you need and give yourself PERMISSION not to be perfect….just human with a limited energy reserve and outside demands. Will miss your posts as I always think more after reading them.

    1. annie kip says:

      You are such a good friend, Ingrid. Thanks for your encouragement and patience with all of my processing. I really appreciate it.

  9. Annie, I could have written almost every word of this post. (Don’t much like writing the “how-to” posts, either–and frustrated that those are the ones with legs.) Will miss seeing you in my in-box, but completely understand the value of taking breaks. Hope you enjoy your kids, your beau, your friends, and time to reflect and take care of business. Wishing you well–

    1. annie kip says:

      I think it is so interesting that we are such kindred spirits across the country! Thanks for your understanding and patience.

  10. Deb says:

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Annie! xoxoxoxoxoxo

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks, gal! You too! I love reading your comments and will miss being connected this way, but will be back soon!

  11. Liz says:

    I am new to your blog, but completely understand. I read a few other bloggers on a regular basis, and not all of them post every day or even every week. I think as a writer you reach a point where the blog tends to consume every waking moment.

    Take all the time you need.

    1. annie kip says:

      Liz, thank you. It is so exciting to see that someone I don’t know is reading my blog and that makes it so much harder to step away. Thank you so much for taking a look. It sounds like you understand how it is to be a writer. Do you have a blog too? Please keep subscribed and I will look forward to seeing your comments and getting to know you better when I return!

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