The end of year is always a period of transition for me. I like to envision what I want the next year to look like. This can sometimes be crippling because I find that dreaming makes me want to have a plan. I need to have a plan. Desperately. And it is really easy to forget that it is okay to step back while you figure out what is next.
Last year in November, I took a big leap and started this blog. I thought I was going to teach everyone how to do stuff, but it turns out that I don’t really enjoy writing the “how-to” posts. Instead, writing the blog has taught me things that I didn’t expect to learn.
That sharing my real self is exhilarating, as well as scary, but worth it for the connection it creates. I love feeling connected to all of my friends who are readers and readers who have become friends. I want more.
That I have a really, really hard time with letting the ideal of perfection go.
That the beau is a keeper. The very things that bug me about him, seem to turn out to be things that I need in my life. (I can just hear him saying, “I told you so.”)
That writing is something I don’t want to stop doing. I sometimes hate it, but, as they say, the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. I definitely do not feel indifference toward writing. Once I get going, I can’t stop. I need to do it. It can completely consume me if I do not force myself to accept a plenty-perfectly written post and close the laptop.
Hard as it is to think of breaking our connection, I need to take a plenty perfect approach to my blog and let it lay low while I attend to other things that require my energy and attention. I need to leave some space for the next thing to come into being. I have decided to take a hiatus from writing on regular basis to retool, regroup, and refocus.
I will be getting more sleep, settling some legal things with my ex-husband, thinking about how my blog and business can work together (or not), and taking some time to just hang out with my kids and be more available, because this has been a really busy year. I look forward to reconnecting with you in 2013.