Birthday Crepes


There comes a time when you learn that Santa isn’t real, the Easter bunny ain’t coming, the tooth fairy is a farce, and birthdays are not the one magical day of the year when everything goes right.

Today, my son’s friend could not hang out all day.

Today, my son’s brother decided not to get him a birthday gift.

Today, my son’s sister was at a sleepover to celebrate someone else’s birthday.

Today, my son’s mom didn’t make the birthday cake the right way.

Today, my son’s dad did not acknowlege his birthday.

Today, my son’s birthday simply did not go the way he had hoped.

Today, there were tears.

And my son’s mom was uncharacteristically tolerant of some childish outbursts which she knows are so much more easily expressed than the grief that feels like it is going to drown you in your throat. And she remembered how it felt to be disappointed that getting older was not as fun as it seemed like it was going to be. And the helplessness of seeing that the people you love are not going to be able to love you back in the way you want to be loved. And how it felt to know that this was the way it was going to be for a long time. And you couldn’t do anything about it.

Except wait. And try to trust when you are told that it won’t always feel this bad.

Today, thoughtful cards were made. And new games were played. And hugs were given. But, today, it felt like only the birthday crepes came out right.

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  1. Jean says:

    How perceptive of. These are lessons in LIFE. Hopefully in working through them with our children, no matter what age, we re-learn them for ourselves. I love the “two different shoe” picture. Maybe it’s individual style we are after 

    1. annie kip says:

      Thanks, Jean. I am trying to figure it all out.

  2. Oh, Annie. This post makes me hurt, in all kinds of ways.
    It was so much easier to make them happy when they were younger.
    I miss being able to make my children happy the way I once could. I miss being able to control their world so that I could keep them happy and safe in it. I loved that bubble, fragile and illusory as it was.

    I know that what we give them now is more substantial. You had opportunity today to give your son gifts that will help him build and maintain real happiness in the future. Happiness that doesn’t depend on others. But damn, such hard gifts to open.

    Really wishing you didn’t live so far away. Would love to sit and drink a cup of tea or glass of wine with you and help each other feel better about teen-age kids, getting older, and lousy ex-husbands. :-)

    1. annie kip says:

      I know you get it, Rita. That means a lot to me. I wish we lived closer too!

  3. Deb White says:

    Ouch, I can feel his pain through your writings … and his father didn’t even acknowledge his birthday? WTF?! Am sure he feels very grateful for a wonderful Mom like you, Annie!!!! xoxoxoxo

    1. annie kip says:

      Last year, his dad called on his birthday and didn’t realize it was his birthday. Another year, he texted “happy birthday” on the wrong day. This year, his dad was reminded by my son’s brother, but the birthday phone call was not received until very late in the evening when all the damage was already done. Yes, WTF.

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