How To Fantasize Productively

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Taking a minute to really consider the kind of relationship you want to have does not doom you to unhappiness with the life you live now.

You don’t have to leave your relationship just because you think about what it would be like to have a better one. Not having what you want right now will not necessarily be more painful than it already is.

Keeping your truth quiet, continuing to just get along, and thinking this is “as good as it gets” will most certainly not result in a better relationship. In fact, it is the path most likely to bring you more misery. Nothing is worse than being dumped by someone you feel superior to.

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Stop focusing on what is wrong with your partner and ask yourself, “who are you in your fantasy relationship?” How do you behave toward your partner? What do you say, how generous are you, how kind? Who are you in your best life? Do you know?

We bring ourselves with us when we leave one relationship and move into another. Better to use the relationship you are in right now to practice being who you want to be in the next relationship, if there is going to be a next relationship. Learn to be vulnerable and risk showing your true self. Be sweet, generous, and kind. Now. Learn how to say your truth, ask for what you want, and connect.

What do you have to lose?

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Be the way you want to be the next time, right now. No one can stop you. Just because what you give isn’t reciprocated doesn’t mean you can’t practice.

The best way to have the life you want is to become the person who lives that life.

Are you waiting your perfect life to happen or are you trying to live it now?

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  1. Jean Owen says:


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  3. Deb White says:

    As usual, right on point where I am at in my feelings these days — THANK YOU, Annie!! I have really missed your posts!! Keep ’em comin’, Gaaaaaaaaaaal! xoxoxoxo

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