Everyday Is Special Spring Flower Arrangment

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It has taken me over 10 years of living in the Northeast to accept that Easter does not mean we get to wear sundresses.

When I was a little girl, we always had Easter at my glamour-granny’s home in Palm Springs, where everyday life felt like a special party.  Even everyday breakfast - where she would preside over the dining room table set with crystal glasses and beautiful turquoise china wearing her flowing house-gown-robe.  Toast with butter and the most amazing boysenberry jam were served with silver from the elegant tea-cart pulled up next to her seat at the head of the table. I learned to like V-8 vegetable juice, just so I could drink out of the delicate crystal glasses it was served in.  I have those goblets in my cupboard today and love them probably a little too much.  They remind me of the beautiful way of living that my glamour-granny cultivated every day.  I try to capture that “everyday special” nuance when I think about the way I want to feel about my life and home.

Little things – like using crystal goblets, eating yummy jam, and wearing cute shoes – can make the everyday feel special.  I wish I wasn’t like this, but the things that surround me and what I wear really does affect my mood. We may not be able to wear sundresses tomorrow, but I am determined to wear something other than clogs and boots.  Around here, there is still snow on the ground in places, but the daffodils and croci are starting to pop up anyway and I am way overdue for cute shoe season.

Another thing that makes the “everyday” feel a little special are flowers.  I made the arrangement of tulips above to bring as a hostess gift for Easter dinner tomorrow.  I love pink and orange together!

You can easily make it yourself:

1. Put some baby carrots in the bottom of a vase.

2. Bundle your tulips together so the heads are even and cut the stems to a height about twice as tall as your vase.

3. Wrap them with a rubber band, set them in the vase.

4. Pack it with more carrots and add water.

Even though it is too cold for sundresses and we are having a casual dinner with neighbors, I will be making Easter baskets for my tweens and teens, wearing my cute shoes, and bringing flowers to my friend’s home.  These things are not necessary, and maybe some would say they are a waste of time and superficial, but they are the small ways I can make my life feel special and give my kids a taste of the “everyday special” feeling my glamour-granny gave me.

Building A Fire

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Happy snow day to all of my fellow New Englanders.  Yep – the kids are home from school today.  Again.  Even though it always throws a big hitch into my plans, I can’t help but be swept up into the excitement of a snow day.  We didn’t have snow days when I was growing up in California, so to me, they are a reason to celebrate. To my kids, a surprise snow day is almost as good as Christmas.

My middle son, of course, thinks he made the snow day happen by sleeping with every single spoon in our house under his pillow.  The beau claims that sleeping with spoons is not commonly known New England snow day voo-doo, but NPR even acknowleges that it exists. I think he just had a deprived childhood. Does anyone know where this tradition originated?

Snow days are a gift of “free” time with the kids for me and I get so excited (that is, until they start driving me crazy) that I usually end up making cookies, which is a sure-fire way to throw a hitch into my plans to lose a few pounds before this summer, but I guess there is still time to work on that!

The other thing I do to enjoy the special feeling on a snow day is to make a fire when I get up in the morning. I stay in my pajamas and enjoy my tea and write until the kids get up.  Making a fire isn’t as hard a people think – here are some tricks that make building a fire really easy.

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First of all, your fireplace does not have to be clean.  Fires do need air to flow up from underneath, which is the reason fireplaces usually have log grates to set the logs on, but they don’t have to be free of ashes.  I usually just shove the ashes and old cinders around and to the sides of the hearth until there are too many.  When there are too many, I wait until they are cool (at least 24 hours to be safe) and remove them.

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Recently, I discovered that my fireplace had a trap door in the floor at the back of the hearth. This door is for ashes!  Brilliant!  Maybe your fireplace has one too?!?

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With my fireplace shovel, I open the hinged door and shove the ashes right down the chute! Gone, No mess, no fuss!  No fear of my garage catching on fire from hot ashes in the trash can!

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I sometimes use my fireplace utensils to move around my log grate and andirons to make it easier to push the ashes down the chute. Sometimes, I just leave them in place and do a quicky job of it so I can get on with making a fire.

Your fireplace does not have to be spotless – a plenty perfect cleaning job is just fine here!

Before you begin to build a fire – make sure your flue is open.  This flap of metal that keeps the warm air in your house from going up the chimney can be opened or closed by various methods depending on how your fireplace is built.  You can check to see if the flue is open, by craning your neck and looking up your chimney to see light at the top (during the day).  Another way to check if it is open, is to hold a lit match in the hearth and see if the smoke from the flame is drawn up the chimney or not.  If you don’t have the flue open, your fire will not be able to draw air up the chimney and smoke will fill your house almost immediately!  This is very important to check before building a fire!

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Your fire will light easily if you can encourage the air to flow and the fire to grow up through your pile of logs, so it is important to build your fire well from the bottom up. I start by making a pile of kindling “logs” on the log grate by taking one sheet of newspaper at a time (or pages from my large newsprint planning tablet) rolled tightly in the middle and kept sort of loose at the ends.

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Pick three pieces of wood – the smaller the better – to lay across your newspaper kindling.  Leave room between each piece of wood for air to flow through.

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On top of the three smaller logs, place two larger logs on the diagonal, leaving room for air to flow between them.

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Lay one bigger log on the top of the pile, straight across, to encourage the “draw” of air from the bottom of the pile of logs to the top.

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Light your paper kindling starting at the back of the hearth first so you don’t burn yourself.

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Have you ever heard the phrase, “where there is smoke, there is fire”?  Well, I love the satisfaction of watching as the smoke in my fire builds and builds until it “pops” into a flame.  If I can see a concentrated amount of smoke rising from one area of the pile of logs, I know I am on my way to a beautiful fire. If the smoke is just swirling around, I may need to adjust the logs to create better airflow and then light more paper kindling under the pile of logs to get it going.

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Another tip:  if your flue is open and the smoke does not seem to have a strong draw up the chimney, open a window in the room just a crack.  Letting a small amount of cold air into the room will increase the draw of warm air up the chimney from your fire and help it get started.  You can close the window once the fire has created its own draw up the chimney.

Now, on to making cookies!

What are you doing on this snow day?

Favorite Things Friday: Authentic Personal Style

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I loved working at Nike and Polo Ralph Lauren and learned so much from the interesting and incredibly stylish people I had the pleasure of working with in both companies, but I have to confess that I felt a lot of pressure to fit in.

At Nike Design, I worked with professional athletes and incredibly cool, funky people who wore vintage, designer, or edgy clothing, custom eye-glasses, and really great shoes. I fit in as best as I could and tried not be intimidated.

At Ralph Lauren, everyone dressed as if they were from very old, very wealthy families. It was as if everyone just came to work because they needed a diversion from riding horses and reading in their wood-paneled library all day, wearing houndstooth plaid jackets and crocodile loafers. In reality, Ralph was probably the only person who actually lived this way.

Those years at Nike and Ralph Lauren, were all about paying attention, learning about details, fabrics and clothing styles, and figuring out how the elements that appealed to me could be incorporated into my own unique look.  It has taken me a long time to get comfortable with my own personal style, and there are still plenty of days when I feel unsure about how I look, but I keep exploring to find that sweet spot where I feel comfortable and special at the same time.

I have learned that style is not about choosing a designer look to emulate. Personal style is about putting together a lifestyle, a home, and a wardrobe that works for you and makes you feel good. It is the picture you create when you pick the way you live, the possessions you choose to have in your home, and the clothing you wear. It is the way people think of you and how you position your “personal brand” – whether you mean to or not. Personal style is the one thing that we have total control over and one of the most important tools we have for connecting with other people. Authentic personal style comes from being brave enough to be the most and the best YOU that you can be in every way.

Do you think about your personal style?  What do you wear to feel the most “you”?

This Is What The Snow Storm Looked Like At My House

I love the state-mandated downtime of a New England snow emergency!  Yesterday, we watched the storm build and hung out in our pajamas all day. Last night, I read and watched movies in front of the fire. This morning, I woke up late to a storm still raging.

Now that it is over, things have gotten a little busy around here…

We couldn’t get out this way (I am so glad I fixed the screen!)…

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…and we could barely get out this way…

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…but Luna really needed to get out, so she dove right in…

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…and went for a swim on the snow!

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She watched the neighborhood shovel out of the storm…

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…and enjoyed the tunnels I made to get to the places I needed to go….

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…like the chicken coop, which got a little extra insulation!

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The Accidental Happy Family

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Yesterday, due to 1) a rare black hole in the sports schedule universe, and 2) compulsory down-time resulting from “natural consequences” of poor behavior choices the previous week, we had a free day. Granted, there is always something to do and even doing nothing is actually doing something, so there is really no such thing as empty time, but yesterday our schedule was oddly open and I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to do something.

Feeling a little raw from being a tough-love mom during the previous week (see #2 above), I suggested that my three kids and I go out for a special lunch of pizza and bowling at the Flatbread Company in Somerville and then head over to Lyndell’s in Cambridge to get coffee (for me, of course) and some of the best cookies on earth (for the kids, but I was also planning to eat one, just to show my willingness to sacrifice my own health to join in the family fun).

From the wailing and whining and impassioned protests, you would have thought that I had said, “hey kids, let’s go out for succotash and then take in a four-hour Italian opera.” What’s a mom to do? Other than get really mad and insist that everyone “shape up” so we can go have some damn family time. And then yell and lecture about how ungrateful they all are. This did not get the desired result.

Seeing the futility of the situation, I called the whole thing off and went to my room for some focused pouting. I put away clothes and felt sorry for myself. I cried a little, thinking about how I dutifully do all of the things that have to get done for our family and never get to just have fun with my kids. And I thought about how they will never give their dad a hard time like this because his attention is a more scarce commodity, which makes me sad for them and jealous of him at the same time. It feels bad to think about all of this, but I take comfort because it is familiar. I know how to do disappointment better than I know how to do happy family.

When I live in the “now,” I can fill it up with all kinds of projects and driving and work and tennis and coffee and driving. It is sometimes easy to forget that the time with my kids is short, because well, it isn’t always fun (see #2 above). When I do pick my head up and look around, I panic that every day we do not go out for pizza and bowling and cookies, is a lost opportunity to make happy family memories. Memories that will make them laugh and reminisce together as adults. Memories of what a great mom I was which will make them pick a really high quality nursing home and visit me frequently when I am old. It is hard to know how to accomplish this since I didn’t grow up with that kind of family feeling. I want it now – for myself and for my kids – so much and I keep grasping for what I think it might look like and spend too much time worrying that I am not getting it right.

Then the beau comes along, with his sweet bald head and penchant for simplifying complicated things, and says, “maybe they just want to be at home, instead of do stuff with you, because they already have that feeling.”

And I realize that he could be right. (Again, dang it.) I guess my homebody kids might want to be here, snuggled in on a Saturday with their pj’s on all day, because, to them, home feels like a safe place to get away from it all. Maybe they can ignore me because they trust that I will always here. Maybe they interrupt me to tell me seemingly unimportant things (especially if I am working) because they do need me. And maybe jumping on each other and teasing makes them feel connected. Maybe they can experiment with bad behavior choices because they know, without a doubt, that I will always love them no matter what. Maybe they don’t want to go do anything with me because just being together in our house gives them the feeling I have been blindly grasping for. And I wonder if I will ever get better at seeing that I already belong to the family I have always wanted.