Favorite Things Friday: Authentic Personal Style

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I loved working at Nike and Polo Ralph Lauren and learned so much from the interesting and incredibly stylish people I had the pleasure of working with in both companies, but I have to confess that I felt a lot of pressure to fit in.

At Nike Design, I worked with professional athletes and incredibly cool, funky people who wore vintage, designer, or edgy clothing, custom eye-glasses, and really great shoes. I fit in as best as I could and tried not be intimidated.

At Ralph Lauren, everyone dressed as if they were from very old, very wealthy families. It was as if everyone just came to work because they needed a diversion from riding horses and reading in their wood-paneled library all day, wearing houndstooth plaid jackets and crocodile loafers. In reality, Ralph was probably the only person who actually lived this way.

Those years at Nike and Ralph Lauren, were all about paying attention, learning about details, fabrics and clothing styles, and figuring out how the elements that appealed to me could be incorporated into my own unique look.  It has taken me a long time to get comfortable with my own personal style, and there are still plenty of days when I feel unsure about how I look, but I keep exploring to find that sweet spot where I feel comfortable and special at the same time.

I have learned that style is not about choosing a designer look to emulate. Personal style is about putting together a lifestyle, a home, and a wardrobe that works for you and makes you feel good. It is the picture you create when you pick the way you live, the possessions you choose to have in your home, and the clothing you wear. It is the way people think of you and how you position your “personal brand” – whether you mean to or not. Personal style is the one thing that we have total control over and one of the most important tools we have for connecting with other people. Authentic personal style comes from being brave enough to be the most and the best YOU that you can be in every way.

Do you think about your personal style?  What do you wear to feel the most “you”?

Truth-Living

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I have thought about it all weekend, and I have decided I don’t want to live like Daniel Suelo. Having no money, eating food from dumpsters, and living in a cave are just not for me. I say this with all seriousness. I really have thought about it. It is alarming to realize how much his ideas actually make sense to me. He is not crazy. He is a truth-teller and is brave enough to live his truth. He is a truth-liver.

I know this because I have done some of my own truth-living, in much smaller ways. It is nowhere as impressive as living in the wild, but when I discovered what “natural child-birth” was, I knew immediately that it was what I wanted to do. It was what I had to do. It did not matter if anyone else agreed. It made sense to me and the core of my being needed to live out this truth. I knew that I would be false in trying to do it any other way and, in the end, would find it more difficult than any pain I might have to go through in foregoing pain medication.

I hope you have known that feeling of absolute truth – it is crystal clear and when it comes upon you, there is no alternative. I have been lucky enough to have this level of clarity several times in my life and the experience has always led to huge, scary, life changes for the better, even if I could not see where I was going at the time.

Living my truth in smaller ways means that, everyday, I have to find ways to make my life more the way I want it to be. It isn’t easy and doesn’t always make me feel proud. Paying attention to the standards of being “plenty perfect” means recognizing when I am trying too hard to make everything work just right. It means I have to recognize when I am doing something out of a perceived obligation or imagined expectation and stop myself, because that really does not serve anyone in the long run. Sometimes, I just have to break down and make eggs and waffle sundaes for dinner, because that is the easiest thing to do. In my world, ice cream for dinner just makes sense sometimes.

The rest of the time, I actively entertain fantasies of escaping and living “off the grid.” For me, this does not involve a cave or dumpsters. I imagine I will live someplace lovely – someplace by the beach, where my friends and kids would want to visit me in my simple, but architecturally interesting, house with lush gardens to provide my food and lots of flowers. Is that too much to ask? In the meantime, I will keep my chickens, plant my garden (and try to remember to eat the food I grow), try to keep my plenty perfect standards in mind, and look for those bits of clarity and truth to lift me up and guide me.