Yesterday was the first Mother’s Day that I have not ended up yelling at my kids. And crying at some point. At dinner, I told them this was my best Mother’s Day ever and they said, “yeah, that’s because you didn’t cry!”
Mother’s Day is usually a high-stakes day. Even though I try not to, I can’t help but want to feel appreciated – just this one day. I bet I am not the only one who struggles with this.
When you are a single parent, there is no one to tell the kids to do nice things for you on your birthday or Mother’s Day. It isn’t that I want presents or attention so much as I just want my kids to be thoughtful. I feel fine about reminding them to think about what they are going to give each other on Christmas, and that usually ends up with them remembering to get something for me. But on my birthday and Mother’s Day, it doesn’t seem right.
They don’t realize it, but when I end up yelling, and then crying, it is because I feel powerless. I can’t tell them to care about me on Mother’s Day, but I want someone to care about me on Mother’s Day. This year felt better – maybe because my kids are getting older (and more resigned to spending Mother’s Day doing stuff I like to do, like planting the vegetable garden) or maybe it is because I really liked the Mother’s Day present I got for myself – a ping-pong table! Or maybe I have become better at seeing the ways that my kids do care for me. All I know is that I really like not crying on Mother’s Day. I think my kids liked it too and that makes me feel good.
Do you have Mother’s Day traditions (that do not include crying)?