NO-SEW (Seriously!!!) Window Valance

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As is often the case in my plenty perfect life, I have been living with a window valance in my upstairs bathroom – that, ahem, doesn’t exactly match the towels. I got all excited about my new bathroom towels about 6 months ago and never made a matching window treatment. Until now!

This is another one of my “No Sew” creations. Just so you know, I do know the correct way to make this window valance. If it were done right, it would be made with the proper lining, interfacing, invisible, hand-hemmed turn-backs, etc. – but this is a cheating version. Knowing the right way to do something is necessary to find the best ways to cheat – and I have lots of ways to cheat! – none of which will make you feel quite as frisky as an illicit affair or writing off a vacation as a business expense – but almost.

For this project, you will need:

1 yard of fabric

Stitch-Witchery

Scissors

Steam Iron

1” x 3” (approximately) board the length of your window casing

“L” brackets

Drill, screws

Staple gun, 3/8” staples

Note: Decorator fabric is usually at least 54” wide. If you want to make a valance for a window wider than about 36”, you will need to adapt this to fit your needs. Feel free to ask a question in the comments if you need more help.

Step 1: Press all folds and wrinkles out of your fabric.

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Step 2: With “wrong” sides together, fold fabric in half lengthwise OR fold it so that a few inches of fabric extends beyond the other.

The side that extends will be the “right” side or face fabric (the side which will show) and the side which is shorter will be the “wrong” side or the back of the valance (the side which will not show). Look at the side of the fabric which will show and make sure that you have folded the fabric at a place that looks good and that it makes a straight line across the pattern on the “right” side.

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Step 2: Press selvedges inward to the edge of the pattern on the fabric.

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Step 3: Use Stitch-Witchery to seal seams together on sides and across top.

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To seal the top seam, I used a lot of small pieces of Stitch-Witchery to conserve materials and because this seam will not show once it is stapled to the board.

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Step 4: Fold your fabric in half from selvedge to selvedge. Make sure that the center of your fabric is the center of the pattern showing on the “right” side. (My fabric was printed just slightly off, so I had to adjust my “center”.) Snip a small triangle of fabric from the fold at the top edge so you will know where your center is.

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Step 5: Measure your board, divide the length in half, and mark the center on your board.

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This is where you will start stapling.

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Step 6: Measure the width (the depth it will be sticking out from the wall) of your board. Subtract this amount from each side of your fabric and make a little mark or small cut with your scissors.

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Fold fabric back toward the “wrong” side at this measurement and press.

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The fabric between these two fold now has to be pleated to fit on your board. This does not have to be exact, but use the pattern of your fabric to dictate where your folds are placed so that it looks good on the “right” side.

You can use the board to help you work out the best place for your pleats in a trial and error sort of way or use a yardstick. I measured my fabric between the side folds and subtracted the length of the board. This told me that I had 12 inches of fabric to pleat, so I made a 3” pleat (which took up 6” of fabric) on each side of the center. I picked a spot for the pleats which worked with the pattern of my fabric.

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You can do several pleats, inverted or outward – whatever works with your fabric. I settled on one big box pleat in the middle. As long as it looks good, there is no wrong way to do this.

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Step 7: Once you have determined the best placement and depth for your pleats, press them with the iron.

Step 8: Begin stapling fabric to the board, starting at the center and moving toward the sides. The fabric should wrap around to the back side of the board.

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Stop stapling about 5” from the end of the board. This will allow you room to finish the ends.

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Step 9: To square off the corner, turn your board upside down and fold the fabric into a triangle (sort of like making a bed) and staple.

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Turn the valance “right” side out again. The corner of your fabric should be snug to the corner of the board and hang at a right angle.SONY DSC

Step 10: Screw in the “L” brackets to your window casing and then attach the valance. I find it is easiest if I put the “L” brackets up first, and then rest the valance on top to attach it.

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Step 11: Pour yourself a glass of wine, draw a nice warm bubble bath, and lay in the tub admiring your handiwork!

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…and how nicely your new window valance matches your bath towels!!!

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P.S. If you are having trouble keeping the sides squared to the window casing, your can make use of yet another one of my ways to cheat – use double stick tape to keep the sides from flapping out. No one will ever know!

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How To Comb A Sweater Back To Life

 

Okay – hold the phone!  Could I really be the last person on earth to find out about this magical thing called a sweater comb???

I have tried using a razor to get pills off of sweaters.  The razor took a LOT of effort to do a lousy job.  I have tried the battery-operated sweater shaver.  It shaved a hole in my sweater.  I have tried to ignore the pills on my sweaters, but I can’t.  So, in my closet, when a good sweater goes bad because of pills, it is hopeless.  Many a good sweater has gone down this way.  They don’t know how to “just say no” to pills.

Before showing them the tough-love and moving them out the door, I sometimes hold on to my favorite sweaters.  I guess my hope it that the next time I take it out, the pills will have magically disappeared.  Or at least become less of an issue.  Alas, no such thing has happened and I have had to cut ties with many otherwise good, upstanding sweaters…

…until I discovered the sweater comb!!!

This little wonder-tool has magical teeth which are able to chew off those pills like nobody’s business.

It took my favorite sweater from this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe it is hard for you to understand the depth of my attachment to this sweater.  What can I say – it just works.  It does everything – color, length, style - to work for me.  Unfortunately, I am finding that more and more of my clothes are fitting differently these days.  I have heard this starts to happen in your late 40′s.  I am fighting back, but in the meantime, I am really grateful for what this sweater does for me and I am so happy to be able to revive it.

To make my point abundantly clear, I shall now bust-a-move and show you exactly why this is the Plenty Perfect Peri-Menopausal Sweater.  I hope you have the good fortune to own a sweater like this as you move through the changes in your life!

 

 

No-Sew Burlap Draperies

My burlap drapery project was inspired by many of the pictures I saw on Pinterest. I never found instructions, so I made some up!

Here are some of the great pictures I found to get ideas:

 

 

 

 

Anyone who has ever decorated a home knows that draperies can be a very expensive part of pulling together a room. In all my years of moving and redecorating homes, I swear I must have tried everything – using bedsheets, using really inexpensive fabric, using very expensive fabric, buying ready-made cheap draperies, buying ready-made fancy draperies, doing the sewing myself, having a seamstress do the sewing, having a friend who is a seamstress do the hard part of the sewing (thank you, Shelley!) – and no matter what I have done, it has always been one big hot mess of an expensive, time-consuming, pain-in-the-you-know-what thing to do.

Burlap draperies are made of inexpensive AND cheap fabric, have a rough texture which works in well with many different looks, and may be the answer to your prayers (unless you were praying for a new boiler, better behaved children, or a neck that doesn’t sag). This project is easy enough for a monkey to do. Total project time: 5 hours. (Unless you decide to feed your children or take a potty break. You sissy.)

You will need:

Steam iron

Ironing board

Tape measure

Scissors

Burlap

Buckram (I used 3″ wide)

Stitch Witchery (follow the package instructions)

You can figure out how much yardage you will need for each burlap panel by adding up the desired finished length, plus 4x the width of your buckram.  Get a bit extra to allow for squaring it all off.  The buckram will run the width of your fabric, so get that much for each panel.

STEP 1:  Lay it all out on the floor.  Ask your dog to help by ”sitting and staying” so she won’t lie down on the fabric.   (That box on her neck is the “Holy Mackeral” invisible fence collar. It works.)

Start by making sure you have a straight, squared edge.   You can square off the fabric by folding it over and cutting off the excess or by cutting along one of the burlap fibers, depending on how straightly woven your burlap is.

I aligned the squared off edge of my burlap with a plank in the wood floor and taped it to keep it in place while I measured the length. (Yes, I am a smarty-pants.)

STEP 2:  Measure three inches (or the width of your buckram) from the edge, fold the fabric over and press.

Tuck the buckram into the fold.  Fold the fabric over again and press.

STEP 3:  Fuse the folded over header with Stitch Witchery.  Before you go all the way to the ends, decide how much you are going to fold over the selvages in STEP 5 (when you will finish the sides) and cut that much off of the buckram inside the folds at the selvages.

Be careful not to get the whole roll of Stitch Witchery too close to the steam iron or you will accidentally fuse your useful roll of Stitch Witchery into a much less useful hockey puck.

STEP 4:  To finish the hem, do all of this again at the other end of the panel, but leave out the buckram.

STEP 5:  Fold the sides of the panel in about 1.5 inches (or enough to hide the selvage) and press.  You can fold the fabric over again and press - or not - depending on how finished you want your edge to be vs. how wide you want your panel to be.  (The buckram inside should only extend as far as the finished width of the panel – it is too stiff to fold over.)

Really fancy draperies are 3 widths wide (I know – that is a hell of a lot of fabric!  That must be what makes them really fancy!), so I always make my draperies as wide as possible.  This being burlap and all, I am under no illusion that these draperies are anywhere near fancy, but I do like a full bodied drapery (as well as a full-bodied beer, but not a full bodied me).  I folded my selvages over one time and I am feeling just fine about it.

To keep the folds of the hem and header from gaping, stick some pieces of Stitch Witchery between the layers of fabric.  Press this area really well to fuse it all together.

If your selvage is neat and tidy, you probably don’t have to fold it over again.  Even if it isn’t neat and tidy, you don’t have to fold it over again.  Its a free country.

STEP 6:  Fuse the folded over sides with Stitch Witchery.

Either way you finish the sides, you should get a front which looks something like this.

STEP 7:  Pinch some pleats into the header and clip your drapery to the rings on the drapery rod.  Create attractive folds and tie loosely with scraps of fabric.  You can lightly spray the fabric with water and let it dry to gently encourage your drapes to hold their folds.  We all need gentle encouragement.

If your burlap draperies happen to have a bad attitude and need more than gentle encourgement, you can give ‘em the clip treatment.

You can probably leave these clips on forever if your draperies are particularly unruly.  Nothing’s perfect.  In fact, these draperies are not meant to be washed or dry cleaned – but think about it - how often do you wash your draperies? I would guess never.  And you don’t feel too bad about yourself, do you?  You shouldn’t.  There are more important things to think about, spend time on and fuss over than draperies.  These draperies are plenty perfect.

 

 

Your cheatin’ tablecloth…

In case I haven’t mentioned it enough, I just want to let you know that everything does not have to be perfect.  Sometimes “plenty-perfect” is good enough.  Here is a case in point…

I had a beautiful piece of fabric that I wanted to use for my Rustic Elegance tablescape.  It was just the right colors – subtle gold and aqua – with a sort of peacock design.  It was almost perfect.  When I put it on the table at home, it was not quite big enough.  I wanted more of it to show, so here is what I did:

Cut piece of fabric into 4 pieces.

Used Stitch-Witchery to hem the edges.  Because I needed these squares to be as big as possible, I didn’t even turn the edged twice, as you really should for a truly finished edge.   This is major cheating.  Cheating is a slippery slope.

But see – no one can tell!  The edge looks very “finished” and crisp.  This is a purely decorative item and I don’t expect to have to wash it ever.  Also, I can go back when I have more time and turn the edges one more time if I am ever moved to do that.  Which will probably be never because it seems like there is hardly even time to shower these days!

I ended up with 4 semi-finished squares of fabric – ready and waiting to cheat.

And now, here it is ladies and gentlemen…a super-secret, behind the scenes look behind the scenes at the Needham Women’s Club Festival of Holiday Tables.  I’m not gonna say it’s a cut-throat environment.  I’m not gonna say this is a high-stakes competition which will determine the future career trajectory for these designers.  I’m not gonna tell you that this event was covered by national magazines and design bloggers.  I’m not even gonna tell you there are strict rules and requirements designers of the holiday tables must meet to even be eligible for this festival.  Because none of that is true.  But I am gonna tell you that some people are willing to do whatever – and I mean whatever - it takes to make their table festive.  I admit I am that person.  I cheated and did not use a full table cloth.

NO ONE EVEN KNEW!!!!  hee, hee, hee, hee, hee….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easiest NO SEW (seriously!) Table Runners Ever

Okay – this is going to be quick – super quick - because this is super easy.

Get some burlap.  Burlap is cheap.  Cheaply made and cheap to buy.  It comes in different varieties.  For this project, I picked one that had a fairly tight weave and consistent color.  My burlap came form Joann Fabrics and was aboout $3/yard.  Other kinds of burlap are rougher, have more imperfections, extra loops and twiggish things woven into it.  Sort of like it is really meant for use in a barn rather than inside the home.  Ignore that.

Cut the burlap to the width you want your table runner to be.  Since the weave is very loose, you can follow the fibers to get a straight cut.  This works better on the length of the fabric than the width.  For the width, there is more variability and the fibers do not always line up straight.  Sometimes, you have tug and pull and shake out burlap to get it to hang straight.  Burlap may be cheap but it isn’t always easy.  At least burlap is fairly loose and has low self-esteem from years of being underappreciated, which makes it anxious to please.  Burlap has had a hard life.  You have to be a bit flexible working with burlap.

When you are determining your width, remember you are going to want to remove the selvages.

Next, start pulling off threads from the sides and ends of your runner.  It usually works best to do one at a time.

If you are working with a really long runner, you can make the job easier by cutting into the width of the fabric every so often.  Cut only as deep as you want your fringe to be.

Do this on all sides, making the fringe longer or shorter at the ends as you please.

I layered these runners over a patterned silk table cloth and I like how the different patterns and textures of the fabrics work together.  Both fabrics are natural fibers and the organic shapes on the silk are the right scale to contrast nicely with the rough burlap.